I am settling into me. Some days I dress a little butch, while other days I femme it up a bit. Always I wear men’s underwear, except of course when I wear no underwear at all, which is what happens when I wear workout clothes. I remember when I started wearing men’s underwear. I experimented with different styles. I struggled a bit with boxer briefs riding up under loose pants. A few things have changed since then. My body size has changed. Actually I have lost about 40 pounds so my shape in general is different. Besides that, the more I am who I am, the more I shop for what I want to shop for, the more I wear what I want to wear, the more I change at the gym, etc., the more comfortable I am with myself in general.

I have found that when I am wearing loose men’s jeans, or any loose jeans for that matter, I prefer loose knit boxers. It feels like soft pajama clothes lining the crotch of my pants. When I’m wearing tighter jeans, I like to wear boxer briefs. I found that I prefer the longest leg boxer briefs I can find. I find the longer the leg the less they ride up my inner thighs. Sometimes I still wear women’s jeans. I wear boxer briefs with these too. Sometimes for job interviews I might even wear women’s office pants. I wear boxer briefs with these too.

I have always derived a secret satisfaction from feeling sexy in my underwear even if nobody else is going to see them. I dressed like a straight woman for a few years. I’m not sure how else to describe it. There was a while when I wore men’s clothes mostly because I was larger and they didn’t feel so tight on my belly.  At some point I lost some weight and could wear women’s clothes that were smaller than the plus size section and I felt sexier. Suddenly I wanted to wear jeans that fit my body more closely and I didn’t feel as much like hiding my belly. At the time I was noticing more attention from men.  I let this attention prop up my self-esteem a bit. I was actually going through a stage in my sexuality where I was reclaiming control over my body in sexual experiences with men. I was casually dating multiple men concurrently with full disclosure, playing the field, if you will. At the time I identified as bisexual, but was still very new to dating women. It was easier to keep dating the men that continued to pay attention to me. I wore thongs. Tiny little gauzy string bikinis. Sometimes these would be seen by various lovers. Or not. Even thinking about the panties I wore turns me on a little bit right now. Those tiny little gauzy things tight around my girl parts. It makes me flex a little.  Whenever I found myself in an individual public bathroom I would check myself out in the mirror, undoing my pants to show my  panties. These days I feel similarly sexy in my boxer briefs. I like being seen in them. I also like seeing myself in them. I like seeing myself in the bathroom mirror at work unzipping my women’s jeans to reveal my Express boxer briefs.